Day 1 - LOVE

LOVE — It is a small four-letter word that will cost you everything:
laying down your life, passion and compassion, giving without expecting, feeling His very heartbeat and surrendering to His rhythm, and following the Lamb wherever He goes.



Today is the first day having my writing focus centered on God’s miracles. Already I am overwhelmed about what to write, do I write the about the five small but meaningful miracles from the weekend, or do write one of the hundred stories of the poor, orphans and widows that constantly swirl around my mind? I also feel a message pressing on my heart so I suppose I’ll start with this and see where it leads.

When I was crying out to the Lord for mercy and blogged a prayer (Jesus I’m desperate for you) the Lord then walked me through a number of things. First He brought me to Psalm 91, I pray that as you read it, you will have an encounter with the Holy Spirit, and the power that is behind this Psalm.

Psalm 91
1 Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.[a]
2 I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.”
3 Surely he will save you
from the fowler’s snare
and from the deadly pestilence.
4 He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
5 You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.
7 A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.
8 You will only observe with your eyes
and see the punishment of the wicked.
9 If you say, “The LORD is my refuge,”
and you make the Most High your dwelling,
10 no harm will overtake you,
no disaster will come near your tent.
11 For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;
12 they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
13 You will tread on the lion and the cobra;
you will trample the great lion and the serpent.
14 “Because he[b] loves me,” says the LORD, “I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
15 He will call on me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life I will satisfy him
and show him my salvation.”

The Lord is teaching me that He is the one and true refuge, and He makes so many promises in this Psalm to those whom the Lord is their refuge, and who love the Lord. Read it again, the mighty power of God radiates out of every word! The Lord is worthy of our trust, our faithfulness, our love, and our lives!

The Lord is healing my heart, from past brokenness, this is painful. He has me confronting all the suffering and hurt in my life, and also in the lives of others whom I was privileged to have been a part of, especially in my travels. I found in the past I have often compared myself to others thinking “this hurt wasn’t that bad, so many other people suffer much worse”, this may be true, but the Lord has shown me the danger in this. Since I have not allowed the Lord to heal my hurts, it is limiting the capacity that I have to love others. The reason I use the word ‘dangerous’ is because Jesus’ Love is the strongest power on this earth, and if I am trying to function out of brokenness, I cannot offer much, if any of Jesus’ love to others, therefore, His power is dulled and maybe even ineffective. So I am confronting and healing. This season is very difficult, but I am excited to know Jesus more through my suffering. I also am very excited for it to be over because in a heartbeat, I would go where the Lord wants me to go and enter into others pain again so that they can experience the Love of Jesus and have their Salvation.

On Heidi Baker’s website there are a couple quotes that describe this perfectly, when I read it, I said, “ah yes, that is me, that is what the Lord is doing in my life”.


LOVE — It is a small four-letter word that will cost you everything:
laying down your life, passion and compassion, giving without expecting, feeling His very heartbeat and surrendering to His rhythm, and following the Lamb wherever He goes.

A New Breed of Missionaries
There is a new breed of missionaries being released across the earth, transparent saints, with oversized hearts, beating in rhythm with the heart of their Bridegroom King Jesus, carrying His glory across the earth. Fearless, laid-down lovers that know a love that has no boundaries, and are ready to run into the darkest places of the earth and bring in the lost, the dying, the poor and the broken. Jesus came with ceaseless love for both the one and the masses. Now we must do the same: stop for the one, but believe for the multitudes.


So what is the miracle? Well I would say the Love of God is a pretty darn big miracle. Maybe we overlook it because our minds are not able to comprehend it, like when Paul talks about our carnal minds; we are still babies needing milk or the writer of Hebrews who also talks about this. It is only when we can experience the difference between spirit and flesh, and when we can let our spirits lead our understanding. I find it is then that we truly can have a revelation of God’s amazing love, and the amazing power that came with Jesus Christ dying on the cross!

There are many little miracles that occurred for me to even write this blog. For example, the Lord leading me into Psalm 91, and Hebrews and Corinthians to piece together ideas. Coming across the Heidi Baker’s quotes, the Lords grace to face my pain, and the Lords grace to write this blog by how He pieced it together over the last couple weeks and was just waiting for my fingers to type the words.

I could even go into an in depth series of little miracles that got me sitting here now at a computer in my home, when this was the last place I wanted to come too. I wanted to be away in some exotic country preaching the gospel and healing the sick. I think about how the Lord told me to come home, even on a specific day, I knew He had a reason; God will send someone, even just for one person. I believe for me, that person was the youth I was sitting beside on the plane ride home, if I had not immediately obeyed the Lord I would not have had the chance to minister to that youth. His parents just so happened to be missionaries in Africa, who started a hospital and many other wonderful things over the last 30 years, I was encouraged! I was wondering what he was doing in America all by himself, I found out He was going to university, he shared his life story with me, and I was able to pray and share some encouraging words from the Lord to him. I pray that this was just the encouragement he needed to press on, and I believe it was. Also as a blessing, when arriving home, I was able to have dinner with almost my entire family, and extended family, I had not been able to do this for over a year, I was so grateful. God is good!

God is so much more powerful and at work in our lives than we know; take a moment to see how He got you to right where you are sitting, reading this blog. I pray that as you think over it your thoughts would lead you to the miracles God did for you today, and that it would put a smile on your face.

Blessings!

Picture: Playing Kickball, best kickball game yet!

Thank You! 365 days, Here I Come!

I am so thankful for everyone who has been a part of my life in one way or another. I am constantly reminded these days of how blessed I am to have the family and friendships that surround me wherever I go, your encouraging words and prayers mean the world to me. After my last prayer I wrote on my blog the Lord, as usual, has done much in a short time! Although I am still experiencing moments of pain in my heart, and I am slowly learning to discern what it is, sometimes it can even be kind of fun. When I have prayed the prayers, learnt the lesson, or just let myself cry, the pain goes away, and sometimes I just think because the Lord is gracious He lets me have a break. That being said, I’ve realized the entire point is not about the pain, it’s not suppose to be about the pain, but rather the joy, there is so much joy in life, that if we choose to focus on the pain, we can miss all the miracles that God does in so many moments of each day.

For this reason, and many others, I have decided to do an extension to my blog. I feel like a book on my life has closed, and a new one has just begun! I am so excited! When I arrived home last month, the Lord had me write a 12 page story, it was about my life, the points that ended up being highlighted were interesting to me, the little miracles that God has done, to show me His love, and when I finished it, I had tears in my eyes, and this strange sense that something had been completed, and something new was about to begin.

I am never great at explaining myself in words unless it is in writing, starting the blog helped me process through so much of my journey with the Lord. For this new season of my journey, I am going to record the next 365 days. I would like to write about God’s miracles! The Lord is so Good, He is constantly trying to win the hearts of His greatest creation, us, humans, but we get so busy and we miss it. I am going to write about the miracles the Lord does each day, and in great anticipation and excitement, I look forward to the next 365 days. I can’t wait to see how the Lord is going to change my life, simply by making the effort to live a life of gratitude.

I love storytelling, more specifically I love to tell the true stories, the ones where God gets the glory, the story is told, as is, and the voiceless, can have a voice. I have no specific agenda for this writings, because in my journey with the Lord, I take the simple steps of obedience, and the Lord takes care of the details. So some days I may write about the miracles of those days, or some days I may write one of the many stories I have heard from those whose voices may never be otherwise heard and are so loved by the Lord Jesus.

I think this is going to be a great way to reflect on what the Lord and done in my life, and to look forward to the future as I focus on the Lord day by day. I am so thankful that the Lord’s grace is sufficient for what I need each and every day! The manna of God is so much better than anything else! I pray that these writings can touch your heart, as the Lord touches mine!
Much Love and Excitement!

Alicia

Picture: In Hawaii last month painting for the Aquaponics tank our outreach team set up. This little girl loved to paint! And we got it everywhere!

Jesus I'm Desperate For You

I know I need to write, but I have no idea what, so I’ll start with this.

My name is Alicia Borsoi, I’m 25, educated, and absolutely heartbroken. Why am I heartbroken? I don’t even really know the answer to that.

Once upon a time, life was simple, I woke up, I ate, I went to school, my mom packed my lunch, my mom picked up from school, then I usually I went to play some sort of sport. I grew up, did the normal stuff Canadian youth do. I found myself completely unsatisfied, longing for more. I believed in God, and I knew, that if He was who He said He was, then there certainly was more to life than what I was doing.

So I embarked on a journey, I decided to go with YWAM, went to Kona, ended up in Haiti, came home radically changed, and pretty shook up. I felt the Lord calling me back to Kona to do a 6 week school called the school of the circuit riders. My life was even more radically shaken; I came to experience not only the Radical Love of Jesus Christ, but the urgency of the times that we are living in. It was a time of learning how to live the full gospel, and experiencing sweet moments of Heaven on earth, it is possible.

Now I am home, tormented day and night by the pain in my chest, the deep deep ache of a permanent brokenheart. Is Jesus really sharing His heart with me? Is this the burning and aching for the lost souls? Is it aching for my own life? For my own desire to meet my husband, the one who I can partner with and spread the love of Jesus all over the earth?

Everything looks strange to me now, different somehow, I can’t quite explain it, I think it is something you have to experience for yourself. Maybe God has answered all my prayers for His perspective, this certainly isn’t my perspective. There is so much evil in the world, there are so many different people and places that I want to help. I sit here, dumbstruck, so incredibly overwhelmed, but seemingly frozen, unable to move, unable to think, broken, hurting, weeping; Lord will you answer my cry?!

Maybe He is, maybe I’m just not listening, is this heart ache Him, or should I have been in the hospital five months ago? All I want to do is share the love of Jesus with others, but my pride gets in the way, my fear, I shrivel, I think, “it’s too hard, I can’t do this”. There are so many people who don’t know you Jesus, and you are desperate for your bride, what do I do? How do I help? How can I reach them, where are my brothers and sisters? Why are we all so busy with our lives? Help me! My flesh fights my spirit and I don’t know what to do! I’m desperate, lonely, helpless, crushed. God I need a miracle, nothing else will do. I need you God, I need divine help, I need divine guidance, and I’m so desperate for you Lord.

Please Lord, hear my plea, how can I help, my courage and boldness dwindle, and I feel like an ashamed child. Jesus please come and teach me, I only want you. Please take away this pain, it hurts so.

I can no longer think about my selfish desires; it only makes my heart ache more. Lord I am a new creature in you, please show me how to live.

Lord I ask for the song to sing, the words to say, Lord would you give me air to breathe. Lord would you take away my tears and replace them with your tender love. Jesus I know you are coming soon, and I am hiding my light under a table, Lord forgive me and redeem me with your love. I can bear this pain no longer, my human flesh is nearly disappeared, my heart is sick, I need you Lord Jesus. Please, please, send your presence back to comfort me; I cannot live without your presence. I feel I have lost my mind, Lord I cry out for your touch, nothing else matters but you Jesus. Please save me from this torment Jesus, I can bear it no longer.