~The words of the Battlefield of my Mind, and the Ache of my Heart~

Thank You Abba for your merciful love,
Thank You Jesus that you shed your blood for me,
Thank You Holy Spirit that you are with me always.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

The Power of Creative Transformation




“If You Truly Encountered the Love of Christ…”

Well, it has been 22 days since I wrote my last blog, for those 22 days I have been pondering the same question; What the Heck Happened to Me in Haiti? I have come to realize that I may be pondering that question for the rest of my life; actually I could even expand the question into (which would include my 3 months in Kona, and 3 months in Haiti);

What Happened to Me in Those 6 Months of Sprinting after God?

I haven’t even had any words to describe it to people, I try, but I just can’t seem to communicate my passion to others. Now I feel the Lord has given me some words to share, so I will try to share the passion burning in my heart, in the words on this page.

I spend hour’s daily, thinking, asking God questions, about what He has done in me, yesterday the Robert Frost Poem came into my mind, so I read the poem and asked God what He wanted to show me about this poem. It has been such a significant piece of writing over time, and I didn’t want to write about the usual (not that there is anything wrong with it), “I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference”, however, how true is the quote compared to a walk with Christ. A walk with Christ is choosing the road less traveled, not once, but daily, minute by minute. Just because my knowledge and wisdom of the Lord has increased does not mean that I do not have a daily choice to make, in fact, I need God more and more every day, and I can’t even imagine trying to get through a day without Him, at the very thought my eyes fill with tears. Although I love this lesson, it is not what stands out to me now.

“Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both”

Why is this standing out to me? I love adventure! And I have discovered that this life is full of it in so many different aspects. I don’t want to take one road that is forever the same, and leading to one place, I want to take many roads, that all lead to different places, different adventures, different joys, different sufferings, I want to experience everything that God has intended for me on earth. The last thing I want when I get to heaven is for God to say “Good job Alicia, I am proud of you, but, I had so much more for you”, how awful that would be. So perhaps, in one way or another, when Frost wrote this poem he did indeed mean, that even though you are headed one direction, the road less traveled, is the adventurous road. So I see my choice to take the path less traveled, which is the road living for Christ and eternity, but along that road I hope for many other roads diverged in a wood, always wishing I could travel both, but having to make a choice, never knowing if it is the “right” one, but going for it with all my heart, and trusting Christ to guide me every step of the way. To let Christ live in me, I have to let some dreams die, it is not easy, but I know that Christ will give me so much more in return. That is a life worth living.


The Road Not Taken
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost


There were many times in Haiti where I felt like I was on one of those medieval rack torture machines, where they pull of your arms and legs (sorry gross, but the only adequate comparison I could think of). After looking up a description on it, apparently it was also considered the most painful form of medieval torture. It made me laugh, because honestly, It really does describe how I felt about some of the awful things I saw in Haiti, and couldn’t practically do anything about at the time, and also the personal growth that was happening in my soul, God was weeding the garden in my heart, pulling out the bad roots, gently, but still painful. Many days the only prayer I could say was “Help me”, I put a smile on my face, and went about my duties. I was fully reliant upon God to get me through day, and now, I could not be more thankful for that painful experience. Why? Well I pray you can feel my passion as you read this next quote, I could not put words together myself, but when I read it, I thought, yes this is it, this is what happened to me when I began sprinting towards the Lord.


“A true encounter with Christ liberates something in us, a power we did not know we had, a hope, a capacity for life, a resilience, an ability to bounce back when we thought we were completely defeated, a capacity to grow and change, a power of creative transformation”


-Thomas Merton; taken from ‘Grace to Race: The Iron Nun’ Sister Madonna Buder (which has inspired me to no ends, and I will write much about soon).

Although, I still struggle, my body, mind and soul has taken a beating and I am still recovering, my spirit is more alive than it has ever been, and every day I am being healed and renewed. I love the quote by Sister Madonna; I like to think God is saying this to me now;

“Your body is just being redesigned, and you are going to be in better shape than ever once you heal”


With all the passion in my heart I will say…"If you Truly Encountered the Love of Christ, you would Realize That There is No Other Way to Live Except for Him".

The Sprint Continues…