The Little White Dress with Dirt Stains and a Broken Zipper

I need to write, I sit here, on Christmas morning, so thankful that the Lord granted my prayer for our whole family to be together on Christmas, yet I can’t help but feel my aching heart.

There are memories that stand out to me from Haiti, so vivid, so emotional, that no matter how much I personally desire to stay home, I know I must return to Haiti. I remember, Christmas Eve last year, sitting in church beside this little girl. She had on a pretty white dress, it was covered in dirt stains and the zipper in the back didn’t work. She snuggled up close to me and looked at me with her big brown eyes, I could see the look on her face that showed how excited she was to be sitting beside me and how like every other girl she just wanted to look beautiful and be noticed and loved by someone. I had flashbacks of my youth, same feelings as a little girl but such different circumstances, a clean beautiful handmade dress, surrounded by family that loved and adored me. I struggled to hold back the tears as I sat through the church service and I prayed with all my heart “Lord, please let this little amount of love that I show her be enough to help her through the hardest and painful moment of her life. Please let her always remember this as a picture of the love of Jesus and that she may know He is always with her.”

After the service her sister, not much older than her, grabbed her arm and ripped her out of the pew dragging her home, she looked back at me with a huge smile on her face; my heart ripped in two and I knew I would never be the same again.

As tears flow down my face all I can do is sit here and stare at the wall. No matter the sacrifice I have to make, no matter the insults I have to endure, to show the love of Jesus, even to one little soul far surpasses every price that I will pay. Love will overcome every obstacle and I’m so full of gratitude that Jesus was born this Christmas day and chose to give His life for me that I may have eternal life. I am so thankful for the love that Jesus fills my spirit with and I am honored to go out to the poor and needy to share this love. When faith is centered on a love relationship with Jesus, it is no longer a sacrifice, just joy that comes with falling more in love with Jesus by sharing Him with the world.

This verse, a theme of my journey stands out yet again this morning. Every time I take a step of faith this verse becomes even more meaningful to me. The Lord’s love and grace is so deep and so in-comprehensive!

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 ESV

9But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Picture: Girl in Haiti in a white dress.

Blessings of Joy to you this Christmas,

Alicia

Misunderstanding the Word GOOD

This may be one of the most significant things I ever write, thank you Father for choosing me to spread your love. It is all about you JESUS!

Simple Gospel

Please read through the following passages, let the word GOOD stand out to you.

Creation

Genesis 1

3Then God said, “Let there be light”; and there was light. 4God saw that the light was good; and God separated the light from the darkness.

10God called the dry land earth, and the gathering of the waters He called seas; and God saw that it was good

12The earth brought forth vegetation, plants yielding seed after their kind, and trees bearing fruit with seed in them, after their kind; and God saw that it was good.

16God made the two great lights, the greater light to govern the day, and the lesser light to govern the night; He made the stars also. 17God placed them in the expanse of the heavens to give light on the earth,18and to govern the day and the night, and to separate the light from the darkness; and God saw that it was good.

21God created the great sea monsters and every living creature that moves, with which the waters swarmed after their kind, and every winged bird after its kind; and God saw that it was good.

25God made the beasts of the earth after their kind, and the cattle after their kind, and everything that creeps on the ground after its kind; and God saw that it was good.

27God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. 28God blessed them; and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

31God saw all that He had made, and behold, it was very good.


After reading this I got to thinking about the word GOOD. In culture today we use the word good so causally, in a greeting “How are you?” “I’m good.” We overuse use the phrase “God is Good” and it seems we often lose the true meaning behind it. I did a word study on “GOOD” in the bible, it occurs in various forms 8348 times!!! Below are some the definitions for the word Good:(each time you read one of these definitions, think of the word Good immediately after).

Possessing desirable qualities; promoting success, welfare, or happiness; excellent; admirable; commendable;

Possessing moral excellence or virtue; virtuous; pious;”to know good and evil”

Kind; benevolent; humane; merciful; gracious; polite; propitious; friendly Clever; skillful; dexterous; ready; handy;

Adequate; sufficient; competent; sound; not fallacious;

AND take a look at THIS!!!

Not lacking or deficient; full; COMPLETE..

My mind is going in a million different directions right now, I could go off on so many tangents, but think about this: God IS GOOD ie Not lacking or deficient, full, complete. AND God talks about his creation including us (mankind) in Genesis 1:31 He says “31God saw all that He had made, and behold, it was very good.”

What?! So does that mean that God created us not lacking or deficient, full, complete?! Yes I know that this was written before Adam and Eve sinned BUT check this out! God wanted to re-create this GOOD Garden of Eden that He made and He knew the only way to do that would be to send HIS ONLY SON to hang on a CROSS for our (mankind) SINS. As a human race we really were not doing so well with the law and the old covenant, the Old Testament shows that pretty clearly. SO to re-create this original creation God did away with the law when Jesus died on the cross. Now here is the part that is SO AMAZING!!! JESUS died defeated sin and death and then HE ROSE AGAIN!!! So this must mean that JESUS is ALIVE! Then to top it off God sent HIS spirit so that GOD, JESUS could live inside of US. This is by far the best GOOD NEWS that we humans could ever hear! We get to live in complete intimacy with JESUS NOW! Jesus did not stay in the grave, HE came out for US! This GOOD Garden of Eden lives inside of us, complete fellowship with Jesus, a lifestyle of worship praise and all honor and Glory goes to our AMAZING Father in heaven. My HEART is completely overtaken by this amazing love! God created me to love Him and worship him until I get to meet Jesus face to face! I LOVE this GOOD NEWS!!!

SO then, every GOOD and perfect GIFT comes from our Father in Heaven. That means that absolutely everything on this earth that is GOOD is of GOD. There is absolutely no evil in God, think about this in your day to day life. Was your breakfast good? Yep that was a gift from God. Did you get a nice complement from someone? Yep gift from God. Is the sun shining? Gift from God. Is it raining? Yep Gift from God, we would all die without water. Do you have friends, family in your life? Gift from God. God is only GOOD. Let’s stop blaming Him for all the bad stuff in life because it is not from God. Jesus lives inside of us but until He comes again for His bride (believers of Jesus) we live in a fallen world ruled by satan.

So God gave us the greatest Gift we could ever have, HIS BELOVED SON, imagine being God knowing truly how GOOD God is and then having to come live on earth…eek! Then God still showers us with unending Gifts everyday and HE LOVES to do that for HIS CHILDREN!

WOW!!! So next time you say the word GOOD, think a little more about it!

I am so overcome with this GOOD love I can barely even type these words. Let us join together and spread this love of God all over the earth!

And if you have never accepted Jesus into your life all you have to do is confess that you are a sinner and then ask HIM to come into your life and believe by FAITH that you have received him. Jesus is SO interested in living inside of you! That is why He DIED on the cross; HE knows you’re WORTH it! He wants you to know HIM!

WOW! THANK YOU FATHER! I am speechless and humbled by your mercy. I am so not worthy for this love. I thank you for everything you have done for us. Let my life be a song and dance of worship to you!


Love your Daughter,

Alicia

Picture: Christmas 2010 Haiti

What is Reality?

Balancing the reality of Jesus, the reality of this world, the reality of my circumstances and the reality of the difference in living in the 1st and 3rd world just takes its toll on me some days. Those are the times where I try to function but eventually I just run away to my hiding place unable to do anything but picture myself jumping into the arms of Jesus as he takes all my burdens. For me, to mirror this in the natural would be to go hang out with a bunch of kids, preferably the ones in 3rd world countries, the way Jesus lives with them is just so unique and so refreshing. As much as I desire to head off on a jet plane at a moment’s notice I find myself with a strong conviction to just wait and be patient, a difficult season.

I often dream, sometimes so vivid and so real that it takes me a good chunk of the day to figure out if it was real or not, so on top of the realities mentioned above, I too have this dream reality. Last night I was weeping with the desire to go visit Haiti as I drifted off to sleep. Then the Lord blessed me in a way that only He could. I spent the night in an orphanage in Haiti with my good friend who is there now serving. It very real and I remember it well. When I woke up I could still feel warmth of the children’s hugs, see their beautiful smiles, and smell the scents of Haiti that once used to make me cringe but now only make my heart dance with fond memories. It was like I had spent a week working in Haiti and I felt completely satisfied.
I fought to keep the joy from this dream alive as I continued throughout the day with all the other realties crashing down on me. I did not succeed for very long.

I struggle often with very deep doubt and when this begins to occur I’ve learned to start taking it as a sign that I’m headed in the right direction. It’s different than the normal day to day doubt that I face, it can get so severe that I end up with a mass of chaos and confusion in my mind as I try to war off satans lies to me. It’s the same lies that I believed when I was in Haiti, the same lies that tell me I’m nobody, these always come when I’m alone, as much as I recognize what’s going on, it never makes it any easier.

I’m so thankful for my brothers and sisters in Christ who are there to encourage and lift me up.

Thank You Lord for Dreams!


I am Blessed!


Picture: Haiti babies in my dream

The true meaning of Christmas...

Open our eyes Lord!

I sit here, warm cozy on my bed, I have every physical need met, yet my heart aches with an ache so deep I cannot bear it. It’s as if the very heartbeat of the Father is inside of my chest, aching to show His love to the world. I went out looking to get in the spirit of Christmas, I came home utterly devastated, writhed with pain and tears consumed with grief, where is Christmas here? Every bone in my body aches to go out to the poor and needy, to the orphanages I so love to visit, yet my attention is turned and I begin to see that I am amongst the poor and needy, those who have no idea what they are missing in the Love of our Heavenly Father. This may just be the most challenging mission I am yet to face, I’m so overcome with emotion and I don’t know whether I should cry, scream, or run away back to wrap my arms around the beautiful children in the Haiti orphanages.

What am I missing Lord? What am I not seeing? Lord I plea with you, that you would pour out your spirit on us that our eyes and ears may be opened, that our hearts would open up to see you for who you really are. Lord please have mercy on us for oppressing the poor and not setting the captives free, for not tending to the needs of the widows and orphans. Lord that our eyes of our hearts would be opened to what you spoke to the prophet Isaiah in chapter 58.

Lord I’m desperate to do your will, please show me the way and forgive me for my foolish pride.


Isaiah 58
New International Version
________________________________________
True Fasting
1“Shout it aloud, do not hold back.
Raise your voice like a trumpet.
Declare to my people their rebellion
and to the house of Jacob their sins.
2For day after day they seek me out;
they seem eager to know my ways,
as if they were a nation that does what is right
and has not forsaken the commands of its God.
They ask me for just decisions
and seem eager for God to come near them.

3‘Why have we fasted,’ they say,
‘and you have not seen it?
Why have we humbled ourselves,
and you have not noticed?’
“Yet on the day of your fasting, you do as you please
and exploit all your workers.
4Your fasting ends in quarreling and strife,
and in striking each other with wicked fists.
You cannot fast as you do today
and expect your voice to be heard on high.

5Is this the kind of fast I have chosen,
only a day for a man to humble himself?
Is it only for bowing one’s head like a reed
and for lying on sackcloth and ashes?
Is that what you call a fast,
a day acceptable to the LORD?

6“Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
and break every yoke?
7Is it not to share your food with the hungry
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—
when you see the naked, to clothe him,
and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?

8Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness will go before you,
and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.
9Then you will call, and the LORD will answer;
you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.
“If you do away with the yoke of oppression,
with the pointing finger and malicious talk,
10and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,
and your night will become like the noonday.

11The LORD will guide you always;
he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like a spring whose waters never fail.
12Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins
and will raise up the age-old foundations;
you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls,
Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.

13“If you keep your feet from breaking the Sabbath
and from doing as you please on my holy day,
if you call the Sabbath a delight
and the LORD’s holy day honorable,
and if you honor it by not going your own way
and not doing as you please or speaking idle words,
14then you will find your joy in the LORD,
and I will cause you to ride on the heights of the land
and to feast on the inheritance of your father Jacob.”
The mouth of the LORD has spoken.

Lord I love you and Praise your holy name.

Picture: Christmas 2010