What the Heck Happened to Me in Haiti?

Continuation of Sweetness of Suffering: My Heart (Written September 19, 2010) as well as many new questions.

(Also Port-au-Prince DTS promo video at end)

In the blog “Sweetness of Suffering” I wrote about suffering, and wanting to be healed, but not able or ready to let Jesus in to heal me, I then ended it with, “I have a feeling this is to be continued...”. Well today the Lord brought me back to read that blog I wrote right before I left for DTS.

I went through a very steep learning curve in lecture during DTS, I gained a very deep understanding of God's truths, I had old wounds brought up and the Lord began to heal them. Just today, in obedience to some of the Lord's promptings, I was finally able to have closure over the death of my friend Jen, which was one specific thing I was praying about before I left, and one thing God brought up over and over again for healing.

When I am suffering, and really struggling with what I think the Lord is saying, He'll often speak to me in a way that is so blunt it is actually really funny. Like today, him sending me back to reading an old prayer/blog and show me that the answer to those prayers has been completed. I can't help but sit back and laugh. My DTS lecture experience was basically a deep journey on discovering my original design, healing deep wounds that I stuffed down, answering prayers and questions that I had, and making head knowledge into heart knowledge, causing my 'inner man' to understand what the words in the bible actually mean. Being led and rocked by the Holy Spirit, being built up strong, understanding who God is, how much Jesus loves me, how only God's love can heal me and then going out to share that love with the people of Haiti.

Then I go to Haiti, pour out my love in every way I know how, then about a month into it, something happened. I don't know what, perhaps that is why I am writing about it now. I don't exactly know how to even describe it. When people ask me 'how was Haiti?', really the only thing that comes to my mind is the word 'hard'. What was so hard about it? Good question. I don't even know how to describe it, it was like walking through thick glue, every second of every day, trying so hard to make it through every day. It was like I was underwater, Jesus was my oxygen tank, and if I took Him away for even a second, I felt like I was drowning. Everything was uncomfortable, unfamiliar, stretching, challenging, painful. Then someone said to me, well, when you are underwater with an oxygen tank, you get to see things that otherwise you never would get to experience. Now that has me thinking. What was God teaching me, showing me, why was He allowing me to suffer so much? God does not allowing any suffering that there is not a greater purpose for, so God, what is your purpose in this? One thing I know is that I have developed so much more character from the challenges I underwent, which is a wonderful and important thing, I also have this new crazy love for people and desire for true Christlike relationship, which is very exciting. But I know there is more, more to what happened to me in Haiti, and I need to really seek the Lord, and find out.

This may sound weird, but since being home I have had to slowly rebuild my trust relationship with the Lord, because I was so wounded in Haiti. It has actually been pretty amazing, and now that I have deeper roots established with the Lord, it is easier this time, to trust Him after being hurt and the trust is so much deeper. The cool thing about my suffering this time, was that it was for the sake of the gospel, sure some of it still was out of my own disobedience, but I got to suffer with Jesus, and know him in a way I otherwise never would.

Looking at all the pictures and videos is awesome, because it reminds me of all the amazing moments, but I can't neglect that God allowed suffering in my life, so that I can go deeper with Him. I have no idea what to do now or what to do next.
I ever so gently hear the Lord saying to me “I am not finished yet, I who have begun a good work in you, will not relent, I created you to enjoy you, and to love you and I have not forgotten about you:”

I am also reminded of a quote by one of our speakers “It is not my encounters that have made me understand God, It is actually the hardest things I have ever gone through, and come out of.” -Amy Sollers. (Blog Week 2 – The Truth Really Does Set you Free).

So I suppose that if I didn't have wounds from the battle, it wouldn't have been much of a battle. There are things in life that are worth fighting for, yes there is a cost, but as I have learned and written before, it is a calculated cost.

Thank you Lord for always being with me.

Picture: Standing on rubble across the street from the Haiti Government Palace. Used to be administration offices ect. We filmed a promo video there for the Summer Port-au-Prince DTS which is going to be a huge blessing to Haiti. Some of my DTS teamates are returing to staff, and many Haitians we met and discipled will be students, very exciting!

Originally I thought that I would also staff this, but I am not feeling God calling me there as of now, and I am really praying into my next step. Your prayers for my next step are greatly appreiciated!

Promo Video Link <-- its sweet check it out!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLwxWoEgI1Y

Baby Delivery in tent city of Port-Au-Prince, Haiti, with only 1 hour Healthcare Education

The highlight of my time in Haiti. Delivering a beautiful baby girl! Birth truly is one of God's most amazing miracles!

I think part of what makes this so amazing is the location in which the baby was born, the tent city, Sou Pisa. If you read my blog '3months in Haiti summed up in a 10 min video' you will get a better idea of what the tent city was like. Sou Pisa was just full of so much chaos, sadness, anger, hate, greed, death, hurt, pain, suffering, starvation and hopelessness. To have had a baby born there is with out a doubt a prophetic sign of God's love and hope for even that place.

Three of us girls took health care classes during lecture phase in Kona. One of those hour long health care classes was on delivering a baby in a developing nation. Well I guess God wanted to show us how strong He is in our weakness. I have a human kinetics degree, which I did study child development, and birth, briefly, as well as a lot of first aid knowledge, but none of us was really equipped to be “doctor” in the delivery of a baby. There are so many complications that can arise during birth, that is why people who deliver babies are very well trained. I guess on this occasion God just wanted us to bless us with this joy, not for us to brag, but for us to realize our weakness, and how with the Holy Spirit's guidance, the impossible becomes possible. During the labor process, I felt like I had “supernatural” knowledge, like I had performed a 100 deliveries before, I didn't have any fear, and we just did what we knew and went through the motions.

To top it off, the next day, some American doctors showed up at the tent city, I had them check over the baby and mom, told them all that happened, they were amazed and assured us that all was well. I could rest easy after that, so thankful that God chose us to deliver the baby, and then sent reassurance after. I will say yet again, God is so Good.

So please, watch the video, take in the surroundings, it is not graphic, but note that there is a little bit of blood, as newborn babies are not as clean as they look in the movies!

Praise the Lord!

Video Link: 21 minutes
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_DHL-oUuxQ

Picture: Tent on earthquake rubble the baby was born in, day after.

Skit we performed in Haiti!

Skit: What will you fill your cup with?

Alrighty, so here is a video of the skit we performed in Haiti. We did it many times in churches and classrooms. David put together an amazing video compiling all of the different times we did it.

The skit was birthed from an idea that God gave Jessika, and I guess the end result was that combined with ideas from the popular “everything” skit. The idea of the skit is that there is a girl, who is looking to all sorts of different things of the world to fill her cup. So a character would come out with dirty water that would represent something that the main girl (played by Jess), desired, it would always look good at first (written on one side of the bottle), but then the character would reveal what it truly was (other side of the bottle) and Jess would get sicker and sicker.

To make the skit more relatable to the Haitian people we used the following characters in this order:
1)Voodoo/Satan (Me)
Written on the bottle: Power and Poison
2)Lust (Ryan)
Written on the bottle: Love and Lust
3)Money/Greed (Jenessa)
Written on the bottle: Money
4)Fear (Asha)
Written on the bottle: Fear

The last character to come out is Jesus (John), He is there all along, but is waiting for Jess to accept Him, when she doesn't Jesus intervenes when Jess is almost near death. When He takes the sheet off it says "life" along with the water bottle full of clean water.

This skit was extremely powerful when we did it, the Holy Spirit showed up intensely every time, and amazing sermons were preached after it was performed, hearts were changed, people repented, and grown men were brought to tears. I think the characters were significant, but also the water, because clean water is not easy to get in Haiti, and the effects of the recent cholera outbreak is very noticible in how it has scarred the peoples hearts even more.

It was uncomfortably hot to perform this in fully covered black, but so much fun, and super cool to see the things God does with simple obedience!

Click to watch!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_QzpKbnvHI

Picture: Mount Rais Orphanage Christmas Eve! We gave them all little sock, stockings, and we all drank hot chocolate while sweating in the little classroom/church!

3 Months in Haiti, Summed up in a 10 minute Video!

Alright! So 3 months Haiti, summed up in a 10 minute video! To give you more detail I have written a summary below. There will be more to come after this, but you have all been patiently waiting and I want you to be able to see and enjoy some of the work done in Haiti!

The Lord provided us with a grace that I can not even describe, as I begin to look back and reflect, the things we were able to accomplish, the lives we touched, the hardships we endured, I begin to realize that there is no way human strength alone accomplished the things we did. I sit here totally exhausted and in awe of the Lord's grace at the things He allowed us to be a part of in Haiti, to see His Kingdom come to earth in one of the hardest, darkest places on earth, was a blessing I can not fathom.

The following order is not necessarily the order of events, but I am writing to match the order of the short video (courtesy of our talented media team members).

Jacmel!

Haiti is not a quiet place, I wouldn't be surprised if the word quiet didn't even exist in their local Kreyol language. The traffic is loud, the people are loud, the dogs are roosters come alive at night and have vocal cords on them that could outlast even the best opera singer. There is no such thing as personal space, or sleeping in in Haiti, whether your living with 30 people, including locals, or in house surrounded by cement walls and barb wire in Port-au-Prince. There are people everywhere, all the time, girls can not even walk outside the front door without a male “gaurd” (talk about giving up freedom). If your lucky enough to sleep through all the noise, then just to keep you on your toes you may feel a little earthquake, just big enough to wake you up and keep you freaked out for the rest of the night.

So why do I write this when talking about Jacmel, because Jacmel was our “quiet” restful place, and I just want you to understand that Jacmel is quiet compared to the other places we were, but by Canadian standards, it is not quite at all. We went to Jacmel to take a breather, study spiritual warfare, which we did do, but we also had manifestations (riots) outside our front door, and non stop discipleship, which is a blessing, but also exhausting.

Some of you have been able to be a part of these two people who's lives I was able to be a part of in discipling and providing hope for the future.

The first is a 14yr old girl named Liline, she is from Port-au-Prince and both her parents died in the earthquake. I met her when the lady she stays with was yelling at her and throwing her clothing on the street. Sometimes Liline was able to eat and go to school, but not often. Thanks to your generosity and the grace of God in the connections and timing He provided, she is now sponsored for 6 months of English school. This will provide her with level one English and dramatically improve her circumstances. This increases her chance of getting a job in the future as well allowing her to be in an atmosphere of well educated Haitians.

Then second is an 18yr old named Dickens who lost his father in 2006 and his mother in the earthquake. I spent 2 weeks, early morning to late night discipling this young man in every way I could. From how much the Lord loves him, to moral purity, to starting a bracelet business, how to save and spend money. With this he was able to save up for 2 months of art school, and your generosity has sponsored 3 more months of art school. This will truly help Dickens to transition from getting out of high school, and getting into the working world. He will be doing something he enjoys while aiding in his continual healing after becoming an orphan at 17 yrs old.

So that is Jacmel, we also got to spend time at a beautiful beach, and gorgeous waterfall (up a very scary drive, story for another time). I must admit, I did enjoy a lot of things about Jacmel, especially riding around on the moto's and meeting a lot of friendly, loving locals, it was a nice change of pace from Port-au-Prince.

Port-au-Prince!

Honestly, I am not sure where to start when describing this city. A part of me wants to write how much I dislike it, how much I think is wrong with it, how backwards everything seems to be, how discouraging it is, after sacrificing so much to go help there, and hearing people tell you to go home because you are giving them cholera and not to mention the pollution, that is bad beyond description, it gets hard to stay positive. You give all you can, you do food distribution after food distribution, you sing, you preach, you dance, you give until it hurts, and then you give some more. At the end of the day you wonder if anything you did make a single bit of difference. This city is one giant second hand store, with no sort of order or discipline. There is so much stuff there, everywhere, so much greed, so little sharing, this city doesn't need more stuff, it needs a government, it needs people who know how to give and love. When I can shake off the discouragement, I can see all the Haitians who are honest, and in desperate need, I see other Haitians who love the Lord, love their people, and are desperately trying to give and create change in their sphere of influence. I have to say that the YWAM Port-au-Prince is an incredible blessing for Haiti. The first DTS is running in June 2011 ( I will post the promotion video we made), and I believe with all my heart that this is the beginning of a glorious change for the country. Haitians helping Haitians. The “Hey you, Blanc, give me one dollar”, needs to change.

In the video you see a clip titled “broke-back mountain”. Literally, the tap tap ride was back breaking, but so worth it! This is one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen! It is a ranch sitting on the top of the highest mountain in Port-au-Prince. It feels like you are in beautiful British Colombia, it is nice and cool (I can't tell you how thankful I was for the one day of cool weather after months of sweating). It was a hotel built to show that there still is paradise in Haiti, and that is exactly what it was, it is so sad that no one knows about it, and few people in Haiti can afford to go there. I am very excited about this place because I believe God will use this as a landmark that will be a part of the restoration of the country.

St.Marc

This is where the majority of the Cholera outbreak took place and major flooding from the hurricane, but really you see little effect of this there, just the usual Haiti madness. We mostly just went to St. Marc on tap taps (taxis) to pick up items we needed, and eat burgers, during the time we lived in Mount Rais at the beginning of our trip.

Mount Rais

We spent our first 4 weeks in this town, it is indeed our first love, and was a sweet, hard, wonderful time. We learned how to live like Haitians, no electricity, no running water, 1 to 2 meals a day, waiting up to 6 hours or so for a meal, living with 25 people and one bathroom. Never really knowing what we will be doing from one minute to the next, going to church every night for 4 hours. Learning patience, and discovering that there is no such thing as personal space in Haiti. We fell in love with the people in the town, we spent a lot of time at orphanages, playing, singing, teaching them English, and building clean water pumps for their wells. We ran a mini DTS for young adults, which was truly and amazing experience, and many of the students were earthquake survivors, and because of the miraculous way God had saved them, they have dedicated their lives to spreading the good news! Mount Rais, although a tough harsh reality, was truly a sweet blessed time.

Our First Tent City Experience.

Our fist visit to a tent city was when we were living in Mount Rais, at the time it didn't seem so bad (GRACE of God!), but looking back I can't believe what our team endured there. We rode to the tent city called Sou Pisa, on the top of truck with a roof made from a cut piece of a side of a semi truck, which is the largest tent city in Haiti of 5000 people (on the video). We spent 3 nights and 4 days there, 14 people crammed in a sweaty 8 person tent with children constantly attacking the tent, and bathrooms gross beyond description. There were children fighting every where, and you completely loose your appetite after attempting to eat with hungry orphans surrounding you, and you are not even allowed to share your food because it will start even more chaos. One day, we decided to do a garbage pick up, there is garbage littered every where in Haiti, it is a big problem there, but it was really joyful to teach the kids about picking up garbage, cleaning up the streets in the tent city, even if they fought over everything including holding the garbage bag and wearing the gloves.

Oh yes, and of course our highlight of that tent city, delivering a baby on that piece of semi truck that we sat on during the ride to Sou Pisa. (There is a short 3 min piece in this video, and then a full 21 min documentary I will post).

OH Haiti!

So much ministry was done in Haiti, lots of singing, preaching, performing our skit (separate video), loving and holding beautiful Haitian children, teaching English, giving clean water and healthcare, performing 2 weddings and 20 baptisms in one day, making lifelong friends with Haitians, and becoming family with teammates. Then going a little crazy after so much chaos, and using beach days, jumping off cliffs, dancing like no one is watching, Haitian truck surfing, and lots of laughter as an outlet to help restore sanity. Praise the Lord for his Amazing Grace, and endless Love!

Thank you everyone for your prayers and support!
Enjoy the Video!!!

Video Link
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFqFzuC34Do

Picture: Hanging out in earthquake Rubble in Jacmel. The earthquake hit there really bad too, they have just manged to clean up a lot more quickly and effeciantly than in Port-au-Prince.