Please pray for me. I am being plagued by doubt. I am doubting that my blogs are even worth writing, I am doubting that I am even suppose to be going to Haiti (which I know is a lie). I am doubting that my spiritual gifts even exist, I am doubting that what I am doing matters. I am doubting that I even hear the voice of God. I know in my mind that these are all lies, but it very hard for me right now. I have been praying for the Lord to help me and take away the doubt, but what I feel Him telling me with this is that I need to walk through through it to build up my faith and endurance. I agree with this, but it is still very hard. I have had a huge heart for Haiti for almost a year now, and it has been a constant battle for me to get there, so many things have come across my path to discourage me from going there. Even yesterday all I wanted to do was book a plane ticket home. I have prayed over this and do indeed know that the Lord has called me there to meet him, and to get to know Him more and all the discouragement is just distraction. Please pray for strength and peace in my mind, as my mind and heart are in constant battle. I am even doubting that when I get to Haiti that I won't be able to do anything to make a difference anyways. I am thankful for this trial because I know the strength it will bring me, and I am also thankful that I finally have recognized what it is that I have been battling against this last week. I had to spend time repenting as I got very frustrated with the Lord and was angry that I felt left alone by Him. God is so good and I am thankful that He even cares enough about me to discipline and strengthen me through different trials.
Many Thanks and Blessings,
Alicia
Thanks for sharing, Alicia. I'll be praying for you... that you'd be covered in God's armour, protecting you from feelings of doubt and inadequacy which are all complete lies and that you'd be able to stand tall and confident in the wonderful image He created you in. Hang in there, buddy :)
ReplyDeleteAlicia,
ReplyDeleteJust when you are the most effective for God, the doubts come. This is when you rely not on yourself but on the Lord. He has all the strength when we are doughtful. He knows the desires of your heart, just trust and he will carry you. Do what you feel is the best decision. You serve him whether you are in Haiti or back in Canada. Please keep writing on your blog. You have many readers and you are planting seeds. xox
Thank you so much for your encouragement! I will be referring to these comments in future moments of struggle! I greatly appreciate it!
ReplyDelete