A Change of Direction

Week 6
Speaker: Don Gilman

Picture: South Point (southern most point in the US). Jumped off this 55ft cliff! There is a video on my facebook.

There are a few major things that I took out of this week. The story of the couple who got married and both felt called to missions, but never told each other until after they retired because they didn't want to lose each other. That really impacted me in that I don't want to miss all that God has for me, by trying to do things my own way. I like this quote for that thought “I would rather miss the will of God trying than to never do anything”. I really liked learning about how much our heart motivation affects everything we do in our life and how fulfilling living each day to get closer to Jesus is. The point is not do everything perfect, it is to do something, “You can't drive a parked car”. God will use us where we are at, our job is to start moving.

I was deeply stirred when Don prayed freedom over our ministry fears, the things that scare us the most about ministry, mine are singing and dancing in front of others.

My heart was burning when Don was telling stories about his experiences as a missionary. I actually, for the first time, became deathly afraid of the life of a missionary. It was very strange because hearing stories, reading books about others good works in the world have always fueled my passion, but all of a sudden my fatigue, sickness, concussion and the reality of the cost of discipleship became very very real to me. The brutal harshness of mission, and my selfishness was revealed to me and I had a complete breakdown. I am now actually beginning to understand the enormous cost of discipleship and it is painful. I am so thankful to the Lord that He has chose me to be in a relationship with Him and although I don't fully understand, I know the cost is nothing compared to the reward.

When Don used the example in the bible of Abraham in Genesis and his disobedience and then God's perspective of him in Romans I was absolutely amazed. I am just so amazed that God views us as righteous and I think hearing the biblical comparison at that moment in my life, was the first time I really started to get a good glimpse of God's perspective of His children.

God has been speaking to me about a few different things for Haiti. I really feel that prayer will be a very important part of what our team will be doing in Haiti. I know that it is always important, but God has been deeply laying it on my heart since I arrived in Kona, and I think it might be the most important for me personally. I really feel God telling us to pray and work on unity for our Haiti outreach team. We need to be like a Roman army, side by side, with any gaps. I feel God wants our team to “bring a new song” to Haiti. To make a spectacle of ourselves through worship so that God can become known to the Haitians in a new, fresh and amazing way.

I am so grateful and excited by what God is doing in my life!