Baptism

I was baptized on Sunday July 25, 2010. I grew up learning bible stories, and hearing about the Lord, I began a personal relationship with Him 12 years ago, but it is only now that I have fully committed my life to Christ. I have been called like Timothy, to “fight the good fight”.

1Timothy 6:11-12 NLT

“ 11.But you, Timothy, belong to God; so run from all these evil things, and follow what is right and good. Purse a godly life, along with faith, love, perseverance, and gentleness. 12. FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT for what we believe. Hold tightly to the eternal life that God has given you, which you have confessed so well before many witnesses.”

I can not think of anything else worth fighting for.

I never really understood the importance of baptism, I knew they did it in the bible, but since I was born again in spirit 12 years ago, I figured I was “good to go”, but now I know that was yet another one of satans deceptions. A friend explained it to me so well “ it is like your marriage to Christ, yes you have already made that commitment, but it is importance to have witnesses to your commitment”. That made perfect sense to me! The 12 year battle to my full commitment to Christ was nothing short of exhausting. In fact it took 12 years of brokenness for me to finally begin surrendering my life to the Lord.

I know that people may not necessarily “feel” any different after being baptized since the decision to follow Christ has already been made, but I will tell you, 3 days later, I sure feel different.

The morning of my baptism I was exhausted, I had been coaching for 4 days at the summer games, in the most challenging coaching experience I have ever had (a story for another blog). By the time I got to church on Sunday I had already been coaching for 4 hours that morning, had little food, lots of caffeine, and was awaiting the results of the final race, needless to say my heart rate and anxiety level was pretty high. I couldn't focus during worship, the sermon was about Rest, which on more than one occasion God has been telling me about lately, but mostly I was worried about the fact that I didn't bring a towel.

I got up to the front said a short testimony, mainly about the amazing love God has been showing me, and then I was immersed under the water. It was such a cool experience, it was almost as if I could see myself being baptized, and the old me completely washed away. I came up out of the water and had an immediate feeling of absolute peace.

I received a mother and father's blessing, and so many words of life from others, I was made new, in God's love. I had a prophetic man come up to me and give me words, words that I have longed to hear in what seems like forever. It was something along the lines of “You have an adventurous spirit, that is God's adventurous spirit. He put that in you, He doesn't want you to sit safely in the harbor, He wants to you go out! He wants you to look for what you are searching for. You have a life of adventure ahead of you. This man also stated that he “hopes I never find what I'm looking for””. I think that could be taken as a discouragement but it certainly is not meant for that, it is so freeing! God has given me His encouragement, to follow my heart, He doesn't teach me obedience to keep me trapped, but rather to free me. I desire to live a great adventure, but not for worldly gain, but for the glory of the Kingdom!

I now for the first time in my life, know that I belong to something amazing, far beyond what I could write with any words.

God is Love, Without it I Am Nothing

During the recent part of my journey with God it occurred to me that I was missing something, I wasn't sure what it was, but I knew something very important was missing. During fellowship with others, sitting and pondering, and even writing a recent blog that was deleted when my computer crashed, I came to understand just what it was. LOVE. Probably the most important part of our walk with God is walking in His Love. It's funny because I have been studying Love in His word, writing about it in my blogs, and even trying to live it in my everyday life. Throughout all my trials, I somehow forgot that the whole reason for my suffering, the whole reason for my being a child of God, is to love others. I sought God for things like patience, completely forgetting the reason God grants me my prayer for patience is because He wants to use me, His tool, to show others His Love, not for me to “get ahead” in life, or even to have a better day, but solely for the purpose of showing others His love. God is so merciful and when I am humbled by His love it shows through me and I am blessed by the joy of love.

Some of the many verses God used to bring my attention to Love

1 Corinthians 13: 1-13 NLT

1. If I could speak in any language in heaven or on earth but didn't love others, I would only be making meaningless noise like a loud gong or clanging cymbal. 2. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I knew all the mysteries of the future and knew everything about everything but didn't love others, what good would I be? And if I had the gift of faith so that I could speak to a mountain and make it move, with out love I would be no good to anybody. 3. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn't love others, I would be of no value whatsoever.

4.Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5. or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. 6. It is never glad about injustices but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. 8. Love with last forever, but prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will all disappear. 9. Now we know only little, and even the gift of prophecy reveals little! 10. But when the end comes, these special gifts will disappear. 11. It's like this: When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child does. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. 12. Now we see things imperfectly as in a poor mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God knows me now.

13.THERE ARE THREE THINGS THAT WILL ENDURE – FAITH, HOPE, AND LOVE – AND THE GREATES OF THESE IS LOVE.

1 John 4:7- 8 NLT

7. Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is born of God and knows God. 8. But anyone who does not love does not know God – for God is love.

The more I read the word of the God the more I come to realize the whole bible has LOVE verses EVERYWHERE! I am brought to tears, even as I write this because God's love for us is beyond overwhelming! It is the most incredible thing that could ever be experienced on this earth!
I look back and think about the treacherous climb I have done over the past few months trying to seek God's love and now I can see how more often then not some of my sufferings were caused by not trusting God to do the things He has promised me. God would carry me through a raging battle, and at the end of it, I would say, “wow, that was tough, but I have overcome it, and now I am even stronger”. It was that kind of thinking that put me right back face down, on the ground. What was so wrong with it? It was the fact that “I” thought it was “ME” that won the battle. I tried to take credit for it! So foolish! God is the one who fights my battles! I have absolutely no power! All He calls me to do is Love! To be obedient to Him, surrender to Him, and He does everything else. I am called to live my life in ways that bring me closer to Him. It was like during my climb, I would choose to step on the loose small bits of gravel, rather than the big solid rock sitting right in front of me.

God does not have to show me all the Love that He does, but I am so overwhelmed, and beyond grateful for it. Without God's love, I am nothing.

Prayer For A Step Of Faith

I feel like I’m on the edge, wanting to take another giant leap of faith, but I’m still holding back, does anybody else find it as scary as I do?
I’m not ready to let go.
Oh Lord, give me wings of an eagle,
I still want to hold on to all the plans I had for my life.
God says “dream big dreams”, but I’m scared.
I am attacked from every direction, I only have one shield, and one sword, Lord, please send soldiers to help me.
Lord please help me to dream Your dreams.
Lord give me rest in this time of distress, calm me down, teach me how to breath, relax and fish again on Your shores.
I know Peter got out of the boat to walk on water, but I am sitting in the boat holding on for dear life.
Lord help me to let go.
I know You said You are everything I need, Lord give me faith to believe that.
Lord I was running towards Your light and now I feel like I’m standing still looking at it, right in front me, yet I won’t walk into it.
My life is overwhelming me with all its demands, yet my mind is focused on You, and I am unable to concentrate on even the simplest task.
Your love is overwhelming me, I long to share that love with everyone around me, the opportunities seem so scarce, Lord help me to see the opportunities to love in every situation.
The love You show me is more than I could have ever even imagined, and I can’t even begin to understand that You have so much more.
I feel Your presence, I feel your arms wrapped around me, telling me to share my every thought with You.
How wonderful it is to have someone with me who cares to know my every thought, every desire, every fear, every hurt.
Your Joy spreads like wildfire in my heart,
Your Grace and Peace calms my fears,
Your Mercy and Kindness move my feet,
Your Hope gives me life,
Your Faith makes me strong,
Your Love brings me to my knees.
Lord help me to fight every battle on my knees looking towards the heavens.
I am so thankful for Your love and for the blood of Jesus that sets me free, help me to express it by every action, every thought.
I love you Lord.

In Jesus Name,
Amen

The World Broke Me

The world broke me. I do not know how I let it happen, I thought I had all angles covered, I thought I could not be any more broken, yet I find myself broken in new ways, completely unafraid, free from suffering, and filled with God’s love. He says it is okay, I am here, your soul is broken, but I am here grieving with you, you can choose to drift down the river in your grief, or you can choose to anchor your boat and sit and enjoy My presence. It is a season of Restoration for you; I am here to Restore you. Oh Lord, how you have drawn me gently to my knees, I can not cry, yet somehow you have brought me to tears, by this I know, You are here, not only grieving with me, but taking my pain and grieving for me, I feel the presence of Your Spirit, it is so wonderful, yet so overwhelming.

Lost Childhood

I work at a physiotherapy clinic, while at work today a 6 year old girl came in with her grandma, I was bored, so naturally I got one of our small exercise balls out so that I could play pass with the little girl, any chance I get to play anything even resembling a sport, I will take it. So the little girl and I played pass, it was fun, and she was very entertaining to listen to, as most children are. She started chit chatting with me, telling me about things that were fun, like how she dressed up a vacuum, danced it around, and it had so much fun with it. She was sad because they had to get a new vacuum and it wasn’t as fun as the old one. She then proceeded to show me her entire dance routine, counts and all, with no limitations, no hesitation, just full of life, and full of movement.

So what happens to us? What stops us from being that little girl that is so carefree, so full of life, so full of love? How does life take us from being so carefree to so full of pain? Sometimes it is hard for me, I believe God is my protector, so how, and why did he let me suffer so much pain and hurt at the hands of others? He is trying to teach me to be that carefree little girl again, that may be the hardest task I have ever had to face. Everything in the world tells me that being that carefree girl is not reality, the world only accepts giving me pain and suffering each day that I wake. It seems as we age, we go from complete life and innocence, to lifeless souls facing reality.

I can not accept that God wants us to be lifeless just because we have faced many harsh realities, I really believe that He wants to give us life, He says through Jesus in John 10:10 ESV “…I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” So after all the hurt, all the harsh realities how do we find what God is trying to teach us? I can only through faith, trust, that this “New Journey” God has put me on is going to be how I will find life again.

I think a lot about those children around the world who lost their childhood long before the age of 6, I have met some, I still dream about them, I long to be able to give those children the joy and innocence they deserve.

God just struck me with powerful words as I wrote that last line “I long to be able to give those children the joy and innocence they deserve”. Those must be the very words that God is speaking to us.

May we learn, just as children, to love freely, live innocently, give openly and let God take control of our life.

Amen

THE WORLD IS YOUR PLAYGROUD

This is what I feel the Holy Spirit is speaking to me today “Alicia, open your eyes!!! THE WORLD IS YOUR PLAYGROUD. Now that your mind is not focused on worldly desires, if you allow me, I can fill it with Mine! Go out in My name, teach about who I am, be obedient to Me; I will bless your life as you bless others! You will do great things that you never even imagined could be possible, as long as you stay surrendered to My will and purpose for your life!”

I am so grateful to the Lord of Everything!

(A devotional taken from Sarah Young’s "Jesus Calling")
I Am the Truth: the one who came to set you free. As the Holy Spirit controls your mind and actions more fully, you become free in Me. You are increasingly released to become the one I created you to be. This is a work that I do in you as you yield to My Spirit. I can do My best handiwork when you sit in the stillness of My Presence focusing you entire being on Me.

Let My thoughts burst freely upon your consciousness, stimulating abundant Life. I am the Way the Truth and the Life. As you follow Me, I lead you along paths of Newness: ways you have never imagined. Don’t worry about what is on the road up ahead. I want you to find your security in knowing Me, the One who died to set you free.

John 8:31:32-32 NLT
“…You are truly my disciples if you keep obeying my teachings. 32. And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

John 14:6
“Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me”

John 14: 12-14 NLT
“12. The truth is, anyone who believes in me will do the same works I have done, and even greater works, because I am going to be with the Father. 13. You can ask for anything in my name, and I will do it, because the work of the Son brings glory to the Father. 14. Yes, ask anything in my name, and I will do it!”

John 15: 18 – 19 NLT
“When the world hates you, remember it hated me before it hated you. 19. The world would love you if you belonged to it, but you don’t. I chose you to come out of the world, and so it hates you.”

Philippians 2:13 NLT

“For God is working in you, giving you the desire to obey him and the power to do what pleases him.”


I was in a Christian book store one day; I picked up a devotional book and read the message for that day. It was Sarah Young’s "Jesus Calling". Sarah Young is a missionary who has many accomplishments including planting churches in Japan and Australia. I fumbled through it a little bit and loved not only the teachings but also they way they were written. I put it down, not wanting to pay the $10 and went about my day. Well for the rest of the week I thought about that book, so I went back and got it. In the week I have had it, it surely has blessed my heart and mind. Sometimes I let myself get into thinking that I can do it all on my own, just me and God, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. I need the teaching of others who are obedient to the Lord, I need that phone call from a friend telling me that I was on their heart, asking me if I’m okay, and then faithfully praying for me. I’m so tired of falling on my face, I’m sure there are times in our life when we need to fall on our face so God can awaken us and make us new, but I’m also sure that there are also times when God wants us to have community so that we don’t end up falling on our face. I have come to understand that beginning the day seeking God’s presence in prayer is absolutely the most important thing I can do if I truly want to walk the straight and narrow path God has made for me. Sure, missing one day may seem like not that big of deal, but I know better, I know that everything you have ever known and loved can disappear in a spilt second and I never again want to get caught in the storm without my mind, heart, and soul focused entirely on the Lord and his will for my life.

God has taken away from me everything I have ever known and thought to be true, other than, by God’s grace, my family. All the things I have thought to be true for my life where nothing but my own will, and you know what? I have never in my life had a feeling of such Freedom! My mind and heart have never been freer to receive God’s mighty counsel, “through communing with Me, you transfer your heavy burdens to My strong shoulders”, "Jesus Calling".

I find that sentence very interesting, especially when comparing to Matthew 11:28 – 30 NLT. “28.Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. 29. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle, and you will find rest for your souls. 30. For my yoke fits perfectly, and the burden I give you is light”.

I want to emphasize the word HEAVY. The Lord doesn’t say, come to me, all of you who are weary and carry LIGHT burdens. I firmly believe, as Christians, we are called to put ourselves in positions where we will be confronted with HEAVY burdens, but the joy is that Jesus takes them from us, gives us rest, and the makes the load light. If we are to be the Body of Christ and just like in John 14:12 “do the same works I have done, and even greater works” then we as Christians may find ourselves facing very difficult circumstances for the Glory of the Lord. I also believe that by our own stubborn human nature we can create heavy burdens for ourselves when try to follow our own will for our life. Maybe God allows us to do this because it is an essential part of the spiritual growth process, I really don’t know. For me, I will try to do my best each day to let God work in my life, so that my HEAVY burdens are not always caused by my own failings, but instead by doing my part in the Body of Christ that I was created for. I think the HEAVY burdens can look very different for each person, and only you would know what they are. What are you passionate about? Do you constantly “feel sorry” for the single mom with 4 children trying to make a living by working at Walmart? Maybe God is calling you to help her, teach her, bless her in a way only you could.

For myself I constantly think about the innocent orphaned children in the world, how unfair it is for them. I would give every blessing in my life to just save one child from child prostitution or one child from starvation or one child from drug abuse or one child from violence. I am quite content with my reward being in heaven with the Lord, because I desire to work for his Kingdom and my only true joy is in the Lord. I do not feel content in this way everyday, but when I keep my eyes are heart focused on the Lord, then the joy that fills me knowing I am going to work for His Kingdom overwhelms me.

God has granted me an opportunity to go to YWAM, at the University of Nations in Kona, Hawaii for September 2010. I will spend three months there in discipleship training focusing on what I am most passionate about, Justice. I will learn more about who I am in Christ; I will learn skills to help the innocent from the injustices of the world. After that I will go on an outreach wherever God sends me, where I will live with locals and be able to fellowship with people of a different culture, teaching them what I have learnt while they teach me what they have learnt. Depending on the country I am sent to I will also learn a specific skill to help bring justice to that area, for example helping the child prostitutes in Thailand, or the many that die from drinking dirty water in Mozambique. I can not say how blessed I am to have this opportunity, it actually seems very surreal to me, I am so happy that the Lord knows the desires of my heart, and without me even realizing it, he is teaching me each day what those desires are, and giving me opportunities to fulfill them. I feel quite speechless at how good God is to me, (although I seem to have no trouble writing about it!).

I leave in three months, I ask that you pray for me as I know satan hates that I am going to do this. I also know that by Jesus dying on the Cross He has already defeated satan. Pray that I will wake up each morning seeking the Lord, focusing my every thought on him. Pray that I will be disciplined in memorizing scripture so that I am able to cut through the deceptions of the evil one. Pray that whatever is causing me to be spiritually attacked during my sleep will be revealed to me so it can be cast out in the name of Jesus. I just want to emphasize that satan does not want me to go, so your prayers will be the most important blessing in my life.

I also just wanted to say, that what I write in these blogs is my way of processing all that God is teaching me, I encourage you to pray about what you read, so that you know what is truth for your life, and I pray that you will be blessed by reading them. I also encourage you, if you feel the need, to comment on them, as your fellowship with me blesses my life.

Amen