Now I realize that this 365 day count failed miserably, but I’m glad it did. I began taking pride in the fact that everything in my life was so regimented, I was doing a 40 day Daniel Fast, I was worshiping and praying regularly, I was sharing the gratitude on my heart with others, I was putting on that ‘picture of perfection’. My days of gratitude started to become religious and I couldn’t stand it, it was taking me away from the Lord, Jesus is my everything and I do not want to be like a Pharisee showing off my dedication to the Lord by disciplining myself everyday to write a blog that my heart was no longer in. Not to say that it is wrong to discipline yourself in that way, but for me, it became a thing of pride and my heart motivation was totally wrong. This blog has always been very special to me, I have shared some of my deepest thoughts and most intimate moments with the Lord on here in hopes of inspiring others in their own walk. I did not want this to turn into a robotic act of religion. So I actually had to make myself stop writing, the discipline was there, that wasn’t the problem, but my heart was not.
The Lord has been prompting me to write over the last few weeks, which I have not been completely obedient in, but I am excited to begin again sharing some of what the Lord is teaching me now in this new season of my life.
I had a dream last night that prompted me enough to actually write something, so I will post it in the blog following this one.
I can humbly say that I have been overwhelmed with thankfulness and gratitude over the last few weeks. I constantly find myself sitting and weeping over the graciousness of our Father in heaven and the Lord Jesus Christ. Even now as I sit here, I have tears in my eyes at the wonderful Lord’s provision of all my needs. I pray that you too will have your eyes opened to how much the Lord is doing for you on a daily basis.
I listened to a sermon the other week, Bill Johnson from Bethel Church; he was talking about breakthrough in prayer. Personally I was so frustrated with how many prayers I was waiting on, some for a number of years. Bill made an amazing point that revolutionized my prayer life, it was something along the lines of this; “You need to be constantly praying for all things big and small, when you pray for the small things, you will constantly be experiencing breakthrough while you wait for the bigger things”. He also made the point that if God answered some of prayers now, it might actually ‘kill’ us. This illustrates a great example of how much more the Lord knows our needs than even we do. But remember, never stop praying and asking! It is not that God really needs to be reminded of what He wants to give us, it’s just that we forget and need to be reminded! God will answer our prayers even more beautifully than we can imagine and we need to keep our hearts and eyes open to this or we can miss it!
That morning after listening to that sermon I said “okay Lord, there are many things that I am still interceding for and I will wait for your timing, but Lord, I need some encouragement, so I ask you for someone to buy me a coffee today, thank you, amen”.
Sure enough as I met with my friend to go to a meeting, she says “I need to get a coffee before we go”, and she buys me a coffee! God is so loving, so good, and He is listening to us!
Praise the Lord! His wonderful mercies are new everyday!
Love
Alicia
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