Justice DTS Week 1 Oct 1-10

Highlights from teaching – The Father Heart of God

I have come to see more of what the Father's love is. I have always had trouble understanding and feeling real love, sounds strange, but I have always been some what 'closed' to it. When I watched the clip of the Ironman who towed his son the entire race I was brought to tears. I never pictured the Lord as someone who, If I desperately wanted to compete in a race as intense as the Ironman (which I do), but for some reason I was unable to, the Lord would do it for me, and carry me every step of the way. It was a major revelation for me, that through every suffering the Lord has carried me, through all the pain and brokenness, He has been holding me.

Over the past year I have been slowly and sweetly falling in love with the Lord, but it never dawned on me that He too is in love with me, I knew that in my mind but my heart had no idea. I'm not going to pretend that all of a sudden I had this miraculous feeling of being constantly loved because that would not be true, but I do have moments of feeling overwhelmingly loved when I allow the Lord into my heart. It is a slow process of trust and it is beautiful.

The other very important revelation I had was when reading a “Love Letter” from the Lord – verses taken from scripture and put together in the form of a letter written to me. Nothing really stuck out for me, none of the love verses, just one line “You were not a mistake”. I didn't know why that stuck out to me and I what I feel the Lord has revealed to me is that circumstances beyond my control from when I was young have dictated how I have lived my entire life. I have lived in a constant state in 'fear of making a mistake' which has resulted in some success and many failures. In fact I actually can't think of a time in my life was I wasn't fearful of making a mistake. Thinking back on it right now, I can't say that I am angry or even sad about this. Throughout my life I have not shyed away from the majority of my fears, I took them head on, persevered through them, and I believe because of this I have gained great strength to handle difficulties of life, all the while bringing me closer to the Lord. This is just on of my many ways I have seen and experienced the truth of how the Lord will use evil for good.

When I first arrived in Kona I knew the Lord was showing me aspects of my character that He wanted to change. It was like, for the first time, I could see this wall of perfection sitting right in front of my face. I had a couple (already close) friends state to me that they thought I was a perfectist. So here I am, afraid that I am ugly, afraid that I am too skinny or too fat, afraid that I will do or say the wrong thing that will offend someone, afraid of not working hard enough to please the Lord (silly I know), and the list goes on. On the outside all people saw was a perfectionist. God's timing for this was so perfect because I am joyful at this revelation, if the timing had been any different I know I could not have handled this truth about myself. I was asking the Lord what I had to do to fix this (silly again I know), and I could hear him say in my heart “Nothing Alicia, surrender, I am gentle, kind and I love you”.



What the Lord speaking to me about Justice and Injustice this week.

There are three different options for us to focus on for our outreach, heath care, education, and water purification. I wanted to do water purification and was considering the possibility of education. Well, the Lord has sure changed that! We have a presentation on each of the options, and then we choose one to study for 7 weeks for our outreach. When Connie was presenting on health care, I can honestly say it was on of the most exciting moments of my life. The Lord reminded me of many of things that have happened in my life as well as many of the dreams I want to accomplish in my life. The possibilities the Lord showed me that are used to bring justice around the world in terms of health care and evangelism are more amazing than I ever dreamed. The Lord showed me that it is in fact possible for me to be involved in this field, I can't explain this all in writing right now, but seeds were planted that day in deep soil (funny enough during my work duty that day, natural farming, I was planting seeds in the garden). The Lord is so amazing! I wish I could express in writing how excited I am for this, but I am sure much more will be written about it in future journals!

Picture: Me at the Ironman near the finish line, 5am waiting for the race to start, 1500 athletes started with swimming, then biking, then running. I was so deeply moved watching this event, the holy spirit was stirring in my soul.

Speaker: Ben Nonoa