This week has been challenging for me, in many different ways. Challenging to focus in my attention to the speakers, (and having Korean translation all week makes it even harder to focus). Challenging in that the lecture material didn't stir my soul deep within, although I certainly did find it interesting. It is funny because when I was home I was longing for deeper conversation regarding scripture, but I had such a hard time focusing this week. I was constantly asking the Lord for help to listen, and looking back at it I did have a lot of cool revelations. Three major ones stood out to me:
1.To stretch myself and reach out to the community around me. So I decided to go on a community outreach and was privileged enough to meet a lady and pray for healing of her back. I know chat with her weekly at the coffee shop she works at (mmmm Kona coffee and coconut ice cream is so good!)
2.When Jesus heals He didn't have expectations of the people He healed, it was purely by God's grace. I really want to believe that God not only wants to heal others, but that He wants to heal me as well.
3.That to be a Christian I don't actually have to hide in a Christian “bubble” or behind gates to be safe. God is the light of the world, and He lives in me! I am excited about how God will use me for His Kingdom in the world where people need it most.
This week I feel like God has drawn away from me, I know He is still with me, and perhaps it is me drawing away from Him. In any case it has been really neat, I feel like when I have week, like last week (so much intimacy and power of the Holy Spirit) that God kind of steps back to see what I will do with what He taught and gave me the week before. This week I had to take the first step of faith, like going on a community outreach and then God blessed me with “feeling” the power of His presence and Holy Spirit. I did my first 24 hour fast and it was after that, (defiantly not during) that I felt refreshed, renewed, and full of joy. I really like that God is building my endurance and strength, it certainly is not easy, but I know that it is such a blessing.
I am grateful that Trent and Tre helped me begin my journey of looking deeper into scripture and for beginning to break away the idol that I have created about God's nature and character.
I am so excited about how God has journeyed me on a path to Haiti. I love Haiti from so deep within my hear, a passion that could only be from the Lord. I cried and prayed for them today as they were hit with an outbreak of chlorea, I desperately want to go there and help. Being patient for two more months seems like will be hard, but I am thankful and I know that I need this time to grow and begin to understand more about who the Lord is. When the earthquake hit Haiti, I wanted go to Haiti so bad to help, I begged the Lord, but I knew I had nothing to offer at the time. I surrendered my will to go there to the Lord. I applied to U of N, Kona (here), not knowing at the time that Haiti was a possible outreach location. The Lord is so gracious that He brought me to Hawaii so that I could go to Haiti prepared. I know that the Lord doesn't need me to go to Haiti, all He wants from me is to let Him love me. I am so blessed and God is so mysterious, so amazing and I love Him so much.
Picture: Celebrating the opportunity to go to Haiti with Mud pie, mmmmm
Speakers : Trent and Tre Sheppard
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